"holidays"

...as in: Dear "blank", I'll call you on Monday as I am on "holidays" at the moment.

The reason I am on holidays-in-inverted-commas and not merely on holidays is that I am too freakin' busy with work to actually be on break at all.

And yet.

Here I am in a 5 star apartment on the Fraser Coast.

The catch is, I'm doing work. I am such a sucker.

But! I did get this awesome stubby holder for $2.95. It says "Ooo... I got tanned in Banana-Land!" and the hot chick is riding/languishing on a giant banana.

It's very classy.

Keep yourself nice

Where I come from (i.e. my mother's uterus) there is a saying.

"Keep yourself nice."

Since I only have a sister I'm not sure whether it applies to the male of the species, but I'd like to hope so because boys can be truly revolting.

Keeping yourself nice means, basically, that you:

• can hold your liquor - this means not being the girl who has to have her hair held back while she vomits into the bushes at the end of the night;
• practice safe sex, including protecting yourself from STI's;
• don't say cunt - I fail at this one frequently;
• don't chew gum;
• don't dress like a slapper - which is not to say that you can't sex it up, but there are clear distinctions between flaunting your assets and just looking like a pole dancer - which reminds me;
  
• don't dance on tables, with poles or in your underwear unless you're at a midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show; and
• know when you're old enough to know better.

There are about a gazillion other things I could list but you get the idea. It's about self respect, self control, autonomy and holding other girls hair back while they vomit.

With that in mind, I present to you exhibit A:

This is my cousin's birthday cake. I believe the adjective my mother applied to it was "uncouth."

I'm not entirely sure what would possess a 30 year old woman to invite her friends and extended family to feast upon an effigy of her ample bosom rendered in cake. Perhaps too much self confidence? Whatever the inspiration, it certainly ruffled a few old chooks' feathers and made some of us feel proud of our credentials as "nice" girls who are "old enough to know better."

Well, maybe that was just me. Am I a snob? Possibly. But this kind of public display does seem distinctly skank-tacular, am I right?

Also, the picture is apparently so offensive that the good people at photobucket deleted it for breaching their terms of use, or something. God bless my trashy relatives...

Our parents' generations were encouraged to settle down and become adults a lot sooner, in their early 20's. Now we've got our whole 20's and even our 30's to arse around, and nobody is quite sure what to do with it, so all we do is regress back to when we were younger and find the things that we enjoyed doing then. There's this great shift towards nostalgia and looking back... We're now being nostalgic about recent things. As soon as nostalgia catches up with the present, it will be armageddon.

~ Simon Pegg

Things I should not be nostalgic about, lest I tempt fate:

• VHS
• the Kenny Everett Show
• the Spice Girls
• canned chocolate custard
• the smell of summer rain
• sleeping over