cue the inevitable jokes about deep throating

Today I had a transoesophageal echocardiogram. Try saying that three times really fast.

It's a delightful little procedure where they spray the back of your throat with a foul tasting anaesthetic that tastes almost exactly like absinthe mixed with banana milkshake syrup. It burns, oh how it burns.

Then they pump a bit of sedative into you and push an ultrasound transmitter down your throat so that they can look at your heart without the inconvenience of trying to navigate around your gargantuan bosom.

They also took the opportunity for a 'bubble test', which is where they push saline through your cannula to watch the bubbles move through your heart.

It's not as terrifying or uncomfortable as it sounds, but I have a bit of a sore throat; and I had to watch Judge Judy to stave off the boredom of an afternoon in a ward with no tea.