Thank you, fellow human, for your courtesy in this matter

This is what happened to the 'shit car' while I was in the gym last night.

There was no note.

Suck it

I want to write more, really I do - but what is there to say?

I've been a bit down lately. Also, sick.

I got this virussy thing before Xmas, which turned into an infection. Then I got a whole new infection on top of the first one. I had no voice on Xmas day; which was not necessarily a bad thing.

My dad was all, 'Haha! How are you going to be able to get all drunk and expert now?'

And I was all, 'I still can, only you won't hear what I said and I'll stay out of trouble - Score!'

It worked a treat.

Clearly I am my own worst enemy

I did not make any New Year's resolutions because they are for chumps; but I find myself attempting to ingest less alcoholic fluids, less sugar and less food generally. It's been going OK for the past week or so - which is as long as I have been at it - but it is soooooo boring.

Why do my only hobbies involve wine and cheese?